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Henley – a one-time peaceful, sleepy hamlet, only coming to life once a year for Regatta and boasting its very own Tory Council and Superstar MP – is sadly falling victim to enforced modernisation. Internet broadband company Whizzzz! has been digging up the pavements of the the entire town, obliging all and sundry to be
Voters who put their cross against a Conservative candidate in yesterday’s General Election were overjoyed when their favourite Henley candidate once again gained power, in a decisive national vote which saw 80 more seats across the country turn blue. Blonde Lady “It was fairly obvious he’d win” gabbled an excited voter “I nearly went for
Furious Henley Conservatives were left bemused today after 2 solid years of relentless negativity, resignations, fake news, laziness, bad press and infighting at every level of government somehow failed secure victory in what must have been a rigged election. Cllr Porkton, whose sense of entitlement was dealt perhaps the heaviest blow, cried: “But it’s MY
Prospective candidates from across the UK are currently vying for attention of potential voters in the run up to the forthcoming 2019 Parish, Town and District Elections on Thursday 2nd May. None are more eager to please than the candidates standing for seats in Henley-on-Thames. The Henley Residents Group has had a sprinkling of passionate
Councillor Bill Porkton today pointed the finger of blame squarely at HRG’s District Councillor for South Oxfordshire District Council’s failure to repair Henley’s Thameside footpath. “The District Council’s shocking failure to act is clearly all down to HRG” Councillor Porkton ranted on Twitter, a social media network the Henley Planet understands is popular with people
Former Conservative District Councillor for Henley, Bill Small, has today accused the Henley Residents Group of being a political party. The accusation sent shock-waves around the Town as stunned residents realised his statement was factually correct and accurate, something they are simply not used to hearing from a Conservative. Mayor Lambchop, a member of the
Henley’s current Town, District and County Councillor Cllr Loveshack has worked his socks off so many times he is now forced to attend all meetings & engagements in bare feet attracting tens of thousands of complaints. Cllr Loveshack told the Planet: “Every day I’ve worked my socks off and I no longer have any, I
The Henley Conservatives have proudly launched their 2019 election campaign with the catchy slogan: Names you’ve never heard of, People who don’t live in Henley. Cllr Porkton addressed a crowd of, by some estimates, up to 20 people in Market Place today. He explained to those gathered what a fantastic and caring chap he was before
A Conservative Councillor has resigned today – more than a year after she largely stopped attending council meetings. Cllr Cholmondley-Warner explained : “I’ve attended approximately one full council meeting every six months, which has been very rewarding and looks great on my CV. Unfortunately, that’s left four or five others, plus a dozen or so
As part of the governments reorienting the UK economy away from Europe and towards the Asia and the Far East for the post-Brexit Utopia, current housing allocations are to be revised to accommodate the influx of talented workers from around the world that the inevitable economic boom will attract.
Henley has been thrown into chaos becasue a local man, calling himself “Clive”, covered Henley’s broken bridge with LED lights in a move set to infuriate local whingers who object to Christmas displays appearing before August.
