Conservative fury as decent, hard-working, normal people secure majority on Henley Town Council
3rd May 2019
Furious Henley Conservatives were left bemused today after 2 solid years of relentless negativity, resignations, fake news, laziness, bad press and infighting at every level of government somehow failed secure victory in what must have been a rigged election.
Cllr Porkton, whose sense of entitlement was dealt perhaps the heaviest blow, cried: “But it’s MY turn to be Mayor. MINE MINE MINE!” before falling to the floor and flailing his limbs around while screaming about how unfair it all was.
Outgoing Mayor, Cllr Lambchop actually spoke, for once, to tell the Planet: “This is the best night ever, with the Henley Conservatives relegated to also-ran status, we are looking forward to four years of productive meetings, peace & harmony in the Council chamber and never needing to do any tricky maths to work out if we have enough votes to get something through. Yes. Yes we do have enough votes. Obvs.”
